I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Two words: blizzard sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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