Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize