So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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