He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
