I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
