Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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