Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
