I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
