Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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