This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
