She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
