I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
