I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize