Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
