Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
