You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
