its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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