Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
