Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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