thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
