Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
