out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
