I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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