Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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