Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
