See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
