but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
