you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize