Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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