my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize