no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize