i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
