Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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