the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
