just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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