Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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