so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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