i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
