my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
no you cant smoke seaweed
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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