what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
