White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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