yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
