am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
