Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
