I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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