Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I am spending my child support on dildos
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
