u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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