Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
