So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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