from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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