what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
