i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
