She is in my trunk
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
