The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize