I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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