Non-Jews are for practice
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
