Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize